Friend, Counsellor, Brother.....

Its been such a long time since I last wrote my blog...
So many things are happening; datelines have to be kept... and emotions managed...

I havent really been myself lately...
The cheerful, bubbly and talketive Andrew seemed to have became a shadow of his former self....

This month has been a terrible month for me... I have not faced such a terrible month before, nor such streneous pressure... Its suffocating me... not allowing me to breathe, but allowing a small bubble of air to keep me alive under torment...

Haiz.. I used to be cheeful and optimistic.... but with so many terrible events happening... it is hard not to become pessimistic...

Even now, as I write this blog, I have not slept properly for about 5 days already... I look at myself and realize that I havent been taking care of my health too... But no choice... Results comes first..

My group has finally completed our ICP project... it is going to take some time for me and timothy to recuperate before we can start on our next project...

I'm so thankful for Timothy... My closest friend and best confider... I dunno if I would be around if not for him... Over these 2 weeks I've been pouring out my sadness to him... and he took it and carried it as though it was his.... He helped me with my burden... and I belive, that is what Jesus would do too...
Our friendship strained too, as pressure and stress overtook my emotions... But he stood firm and comforted me when I was sad and listened to me when I was angry...
Though few people will ever be able to live the live that I lived, Timothy is one of the even rared few that tries to comprehend it...
Timothy.. if you're reading this blog... I just want to thank you for being my friend, no matter where we go in life, I will never forget.. You have a big part in whatever good my life is to the world...

I can give you more then a testimonial for our friendship... I will always treasure you as the Evengelist who shone God's light in the midst of my hopelessness and darkness...
Indeed, you are a shining example of God's love for mankind...

Remember you told me that you are not perfect? Remember this, when Jesus told Peter to feed his Sheep, He was not telling him that he was perfect...

May the light of the One who loves us so shine upon our friendship such that it will pull us through every difficulty and trials

Once again, thank you my friend, brother, counsellor and teacher, thank you - for being the answer to my prayer...

PokEmon!! Gotta CaTCh Em aLL!! 

Hmmmm... been a long time since I wrote a proper blog...
Its amazing how time can be so slow when you are sad and depressed...

Recently our group has been facing alot of turmoils...
People blocking other people on MSN...
Cold wars....
Plasticism...

Actually it seems rather wierd to go to such measures because of a small incident...
but... well... i duno...

DTP project was completed with a bang.... yupz.. literally a bang - I fell off the chair in the DTP Media and Comm Studio, again... yes
haha... but i guess Doris was quite pleased with our effort... but i think Jiawei's group will be the top I guess... Jiawei is a brilliant advertiser...

haha.. recently Timothy has been beraided by me....
lolz... Well... Listening to all my problems can be a burden to him also...
But he is a pretty good psychologist... ... or psychiatric =D

Squall squall squall... nah... not a good time to enter my life...
I'm already down with frequent mood swings and well... its not jus nice to be me...
Shattered... haha... nvm... I wont talk about this anymore...

I'm back to being Kyo

Hmm.... One of my closer church frenz is going to take over the entire youth worship team next year... and he is 16... somehow I feel uneasy for him... but no matter what, I will still back him up with my full force...

Campus Crusade has started mapping out and braingstorming their ideas for the Christmas Outreach... Its going ta be BIG BIG BIG.... and Timothy and me are part of the planning commitee... lolz.... another burden on our backs... haha..

Stress... Still got so many projects not done yet...
The thing thats stressing me most is ICP.... we've hardly even touched it yet....
hmmmmm........

Mood: Worried... Insommia (haha.. blame Coffee Bean)

To Squall.... if ever you read my blog...

To your sorrow, I will never return

To your anger, I was cheated

But, to your happiness, I am at peace

And to your faithfulness, I have never left

I cannot speak, but I can listen
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard

So as you stand upon the shore
Gazing at the beautiful sea, remember me
As you look in awe at a mighty forest
And its grand majesty, remember me

Remember me in your heart,
In your thoughts, and the memories of theTimes we loved,
the times we cried, the battles we fought and the times we laughed
For if you always think of me, I will have never gone...

=Kyo=

I tried remodifiying the picure.... hmm... not bad effect I can say so myself.... 

Nobody know what it is like to be me.... nobody

NOBODY KNOWS WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE ME...
nobody.. and I MEAN nobody...

To be torn apart between good and evil
To be seperated from love
and to have a past that never was in the first place...

Come on... I DARE anybody say they understand me... because NOBODY does.. NOBODY CAN... and NOBODY is unfortunate enough to go through what I went through...

I never had a childhood.....
I was brought up by a father who seemed like a distant high almighty emperer and a mother who seem to treat acadamics as greater importance then religion itself....

Brought up as the middle child....
Not having the power of the oldest child
Yet having to bare the responsibility of the youngest child
Not having the pampered lifestyle of the youngest child
Yet having to look at him getting the benefits of a spoilt brat...

My accomplishments are an empty bubble in a bid to find myself...;
Nobody thinks that they are of any worth...
Nobody thinks that I am of any worth...

I seeked the love a father can give...
and ended up going on the wrong track...
You tell me... He can heal everything...
BUT CAN HE GIMME BACK MY CHILDHOOD???

I want my childhood... i crave for it... i long for it...
but i know i will never get it back...

Everytime I see a beautiful family... I feel the pinch of envy...
Everytime I see a father hug a son... I feel the slash of hopelessness...

Why can some people have such a beautiful family... while others dont?
Why do some children have to suffer because of what their parents did?

I am not born with looks... i know....
I am not born with charisma... i know....
I am not born into a happy family... i know...

Why do I have to meet the person who had everything I wanted...
and why am I becoming everything I did not want to be?.......

My emotions kill me... my heart is dying slowly... my mind is aching....

... and my past is the torture chamber...

The torment I go through... is seeing happiness given by a family... knowing that I will never have such...

Can I only be who I want in my dreams?...
I wanna die... I really wanna die....

Its so unfair... Love, money, family, friends, looks, God.... How much more can a person ask? How much more perfect can a person be?

Dont you ever wish.... you were someone else?

...I do...

You're like an angel. As everyone knows, angels
dwell in heaven. They were desribed as shining
ones wearing white and the idea that they have
wings is believed as well. Guardian angels are
the ones that many people think are dead loved
ones who try to protect the living friends or
family they have on Earth. They usually had
blonde hair and maybe brown with flawless
appearance and sweet dispositions. They were
cheerful, hopefull, selfless, loving, and kind.
Angels are the one mystical creature that a
majority of people truly believe in. Encounters
with angels are poping up all over the world
and reassuring people's beliefs in angels. (If
you cannot see the picture, go to my userpage
and look near the bottom. There should be the
picture and description for all the results)


What Mystical Creature Are You? (Pictures)
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